A Nonymous

A Nonymous
was a shy young man
who came up
with a perfect plan

bought a cabin
in the boonies
to keep away
from all the looneys

glued his postbox
shut the blinds
build a fence
and planted mines

he removed himself
from internet
and stayed at home
all day in bed

turned his phone off
night and day
and put a sign up:
“Stay Away!!”

Interview with a zombie

Hi zombie, what is your name?
Zombie: BWAAINEATAHHH

What’s your favorite meal?
Zombie: RAWHFLESJJJJHHH

When did you decide to become a zombie?
Zombie: AFTAHIDIEDHHH

Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Zombie: ITRIEDBHUDDITCRACKEDDD

Do you feel you need some plastic surgery?
Zombie: DUWILUKETHADBADD????

Were you born with a lisp?
Zombie: NOIGOTSHOTINDAMOUTHHFFF

Well thank you kindly for answering these questions. Have you anything to add or say?
Zombie: YEAHITHINKIMAYYTAKEABITEOUTYOURFATARSE

Excuse me? No don’t no NO NOOOO NOOOOOO!