I go to the store
I wander aimlessly
like the day before
I don’t know where to look
I don’t know what to cook
I’m not in the mood
for any boring food
I don’t want beans
or any other greens
and I do not fancy meat
I’ll get fish and chips
it might just make me happy
it shall be my treat
it will all come together
it just takes time…
golden brown
the drink goes down
warm and slick
‘t gives me a kick
I’ve got truffles
I’ve got grapes
I’ve got what you need
I’ve got olives and flaxseed
I’ve got cheeses
I’ve got sweets
something hearty
and other treats
I’ve got a sausage
it’s nice and hot
yet pickled onions
I have not
where to begin
maybe with the small cracks
in her skin
every afternoon
and again soon
she sat down
in a kitchen
basket on her lap
whilst you heard
the water
dripping from the tap
she peeled potatoes
part of her daily chores
that earthy fragrance
ingrained in her pores
taking out the pits
with a tiny knife
the homely joys
she thought
of her daily life
my plea
for my love
this coffee
black joy
freshly
brewed
I feel renewed
oh my, oh boy!
me thinks
energy drinks
are nothing but a jinx
round
and bound
by muscle
veins
and nerves
I am drawn
to the sight
of your irresistible curves
and so are all
the droolers
secret admirers
and unintentional perves
rhythmically
jiving
to increasing heat
my eggs dance around
in boiling water
without legs
nor cold feet
here lies
a liar
whom one
must admire
as he did it
for the greater good
when he told
the rapacious rotund
he could live on
without food
we are kind
red spirits
we are wine
you can drink us
and feel mighty fine
I see
something
in your eyes
the longing
for me
and greasy fries
I see
something
in your eyes
your pupils
and thighs enlarge
devouring pies
gooey
sticky
chunky
coughed up
slimy
blobs
of green
swallowed
breakfast
starter
yummy
protein
for my
tummy
“pet me little one,
but do not rattle my cage”
said the lion at the zoo
or I may eat you up
and turn you
into poo
homemade
flower
milk
and eggs
mixed
for power
hair
messy
Missy
she will devour
a few
every Sunday morning
at any given hour
I dread
the day you die
as I cannot live
without you Lulu
the thought
just makes me cry
I dread
the way you die
I don’t want
to see you suffer
you deserve
another pie
I smell
something funny
I smell
something strong
and keep wondering
what could be the odd pong
could it be booze
could it be garlic
Oh piss,
it’s asparagus pee
I stick
my neck out
for you
said the giraffe
to the mouse
but I can’t see
no cheese
no skirting board
and I don’t see
no house
by the canals
we can greet
we shall kiss
on the street
we can eat
something sweet
you can pick
a wobbly seat
in Salford
we can meet
I’ll pay
it’s my treat
I am elated
and so delighted
I can hide eggs
for my offspring
in the rain
I am
thoroughly eggcited
the proof
of the pudding
is in eating
the proof
“You burned my ass”
said the slice of bread
to its ravenous consumer
but you can butter me up
and devour me whole
as I like your dark sense of humor…
you smell so good nice,
you taste so fine;
you make me feel so good
I simply cannot live without you;
I’d die without you
food
cotton candy
cotton candy
when I see you
I feel mighty dandy
you’re colorful
and bright
I dream of you
day and night
cotton candy
you’re so sweet
it is you
I want to eat
red, rosé or white
you mask
alcoholism best
you devious delight
he smashed his cornflakes
and crushed his bran
he killed his cereal
this food intolerant man
come inside me
said the giraffe
to the slug
when you slide down
my deep throat
I will swallow you
whole…
am I willing
am I able
able to cope
with the rope
that extends the time
tying years together
in predictive boredom
of birthdays yet to come
groundhogged
and fogged
by hollow words
mixed with cake and beer
and fear
having to do this again
and again
every bloody year?
grown up
grounded
grinded
mixed
ended
blended
burned
flavour
returned
wet
greasy
sloppy
chow
I
wonder
why
and
how
you think it’s great
but I feel sick
and have to throw up
now
sucking me in
thy bOttle
with yOUr bOttOm
far tOO deep
I shall nOt let thee
swallOw me whOle
fOr I’m nOt thine
tO keep
when something seems
too good to be true
it usually is…
when you
smell the scent of urine
it’s most possibly piss
oh coffee cup
oh coffee cup
you stare at me
with your
bottom bare
I shall refill you
with more
lucious brown
and boost my buds
with flair
subtle
stringy
strands
of
caffeine
clouds
caress
the
immediate
ideal
interaction
between
tongue and cheek
tantalizing
treasure
whilst
softly
silently
sipping
steam rising
black raven
sitting on a fence
feeling blue
don’t know what to do
waiting for death
to come to his gate
was it eyes of a human
he recently ate?
looking at me
if I were its prey
too big to handle?
maybe some day…
your duty lies
with humble pies
as you’re
the local baker
presumably
to save up
ample dough
for the undertaker
the familiar smell
I know it all too well
the daily spell
of garlic
and beef
every day
at 6
good grief
all around
the clinking sound
of pots
n pans
the roaring noise
of kitchen fans
my cooking neighbors
not my choice…
none
is left
but angst
and greed
we’ve
only got
you dread
to feed
none
is right
but we’ll
survive
and
resume
consume
in overdrive
luscious liquid
hot and brown
confined in china
I drink it down
picked up by ear
frothed with milk
I swallow it slowly
smooth as silk
dear Joe
I adore you so
you keep me warm
you make me glow
you comfort me
I hold you tight
I caress you dear
my flat white
grapes of wrath
dust in your bath
poor as f*ck
no food
no l*ck
depression reigns
nothing remains
but tears and sorrow
more on the way
perhaps tomorrow
my fridge
is cool
but
my freezer
is even cooler
three blind mice
were eating stir fried rice
after they had dinner
they also wanted ice
but as they couldn’t see
they asked the cat to get it
yet the cat ate them instead
after he said: forget it!
I don’t know how
I don’t know why
but
rats with wings
keep flying by
say I do think
I’d rather have
coffee for tea
as I’m not
awfully
peckish you see
get in
get out
vetsin
you wreck
my body
you pack it in
flavour enhancer
umami taste
E621
MSG
you’re a waste
on me!
you’ve been used
you’ve been taken
abus’d
but nev’r f’rsaken
prey on me
hunt me down
eat me up
devour me clown
crush me
with your forceful jaw
eat me up
consume me raw
oh coffee pot
oh coffee pot
you keep my coffee
nice and hot
on the stove
your brew my brown
I can’t wait to
drink it down
eat your heart out
but leave your soul
for me
the hare
was in the pan
boiled by a sex crazed bunny
lured him into it
by calling him
honey
torn from bean
removed unseen
they call you decaf
exit caffeine
unnerved
unstressed
I keep my calm
with you I’m blessed
sharpened senses
moving eyes
when I see and smell
them lovely fries
yellow sticks
sticks of joy
when they crunch
oh boy oh boy
the smell
travels for miles
won’t have a few
I want piles
piles I’ll get
when I am fat
topped with mayo
need sum of that
The Northern Quarter
good for starter
abundance of food
a stomachs’ marter
in smoke of Piccadilly
hipster’s grace
what’s the score
with this amazing place
kind
red
spirits
with words
I create
and recreate
my fate
in a mental state
of free
spirit
and joy
fed by life’s
ingredients
for a tasty dish
of juicy text
spiced up
spewed up
served
with wit
melancholy
and sweet talk
for afters
as supper
or dessert
I juggle
with words
with words
I flirt
when she sits
down
on her crown
she don’t know
what to do
pee
pant
or poo
she hasn’t got
a clue
ouch
ouch
ouch
I got chocolate
on my couch
spilt it
dropped it
sat on it too
rubbed it in
looks like bloody poo
brown spotted
stains
melted in
where the hell
do I begin
wish the couch was black
instead of white
I’m glad I don’t have to see it
after turning off
the light
diet
diet
do it quiet
get your green tea
go out and buy it
detox
detox
my dear Judy
drink your heart out
but don’t be moody
French bread
brie
and red wine
make me feel
mighty fine
eaten
and drank
white cheese gone rank
forced it down
the French I must thank
I ain’t got
no beef
with you
said the cow
to the butcher
so chop chop
Go!
and leave me
now
and perhaps
someday
I shall
forgive you
somehow
often
I stare
at your picture
and look into your eyes
wondering what
you felt at the time
when I ate your lovely fries
I see sadness
anguish
and disbelief
I thought you’d forgive me
but you still
call me
a thief
in spirit
I’m with you
when I drink
you
down
as you’re single
malt
I confide
in you
I drink
I drown…
you eat me up
with your power
you devour
me
I am your prey
femme fatale
you pinned me down
I cannot flee
keep me in line
before the cord snaps
said the fish
but don’t take me
hook, line and sinker
I’m old
and I ache
I don’t wanna work
I need a break
but I need the money
to pay for your meth
Beth
my sweet toothless honey
wobbly
wiggly
moving
table
never straight
unable
to stand still
unstable
sliding plates
dripping drinks
moving about
too much
me thinks
your luscious food
must taste so good
your show I love
to watch;
you bring it on
with spunk and verve
and savory curves
to match…
bubbles
gas
blowing
smelling
wind parting
not telling
cramping
I think it’s called farting
I cherish
all the cherries
as I pick them
on the way
to our garden
of life
the juicy ones
ripe for the taking
whole
sweet and chewy
just like you
my dear wife
oh pigeon
oh pigeon
thou art beyond
any religion
picking
poisoned
evil food
where i’m sat or where i’m stood
on my head
or on me knee
sit anywhere
you want to be
I drink
to think
and
share
a link
of thoughts
in snippets
I found
in my brain
or soul
puzzled
I make it
whole
you spit
at me
You
spray me
down
you always
make me
wet
I think
I’ll try
the other pub
across the road
instead…
Starbucks
Starfucks
the coffee
is rank
it really sucks
sewer water
weak
and light brown
I can’t get
another cup down
Witty Words 