be cautious with shears
watch out thee don’t botch
trim thy pubes well
to neaten thy crotch
Humor
Keep thy wig on
keep thy wig on
and get out of my hair
I am bald you see
it just isn’t fair…
We are expected
we are expected
to listen well
we are expected
to always tell
we are expected
to be good
we are expected
to eat our food
we are expected
to behave
we are expected
to be brave
we are expected
to be smart
we are expected
not to fart
we are expected
to be fine
we are expected
to stay in line
we are expected
to be kind
we are expected
to be refined
we are expected
to always care
we are expected
to be there
we are expected
to be on time
but I may show up a little later
as I am in need
of committing a crime
Zip your lips
zip your lips
if you speak
but have nothing to say
if you use them
to kiss me
I just might let you stay
What women want
women want
what other women want:
what other women want…
as do men
Kindred spirits
we are kind
red spirits
we are wine
you can drink us
and feel mighty fine
Witty word: Sweatheart
Definition for sweatheart
/ swet-hahrt /
Noun
1 either of a pair of lovers in relation to the other whereby one or both smell(s) of BO.
2 an affectionate or familiar term of address when hinting someone needs a shower:
“Hello sweathard, I can tell you’ve been to the gym”.
Informal.
a smelly friendly person.
Origin of sweatheart:
2021; poetpas; Modern English, based on late Middle English
Over time
over time
the numbers
on the clock
grey my hair
lower my scrotum
and shrivel my cock
December
Haleydrewthis – drawing by Haley Weaver
Bipolar
M2 gay bears
were dancing on ice,
playing a game,
rolling the dice
The ice began to melt
as the heat was on;
all the love they had felt
had sunk and was gone…
No words
A Nonymous
A Nonymous
was a shy young man
who came up
with a perfect plan
bought a cabin
in the boonies
to keep away
from all the looneys
glued his postbox
shut the blinds
build a fence
and planted mines
he removed himself
from internet
and stayed at home
all day in bed
turned his phone off
night and day
and put a sign up:
“Stay Away!!”
Oh well
Oh well,
Oh well
you dwell
and live to tell…
Why have I got to be me
why have I got to be me
I didn’t get to choose you see
now I’ve got to live with myself
and I shall never be free
Morning phlegm
gooey
sticky
chunky
coughed up
slimy
blobs
of green
swallowed
breakfast
starter
yummy
protein
for my
tummy
Poor pin
“I would like to pin my hopes on something
but I can’t keep it together…”
Always
always
all ways
all days
a maze
of time
all days
all ways
always
Interview with a zombie
Hi zombie, what is your name?
Zombie: BWAAINEATAHHH
What’s your favorite meal?
Zombie: RAWHFLESJJJJHHH
When did you decide to become a zombie?
Zombie: AFTAHIDIEDHHH
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Zombie: ITRIEDBHUDDITCRACKEDDD
Do you feel you need some plastic surgery?
Zombie: DUWILUKETHADBADD????
Were you born with a lisp?
Zombie: NOIGOTSHOTINDAMOUTHHFFF
Well thank you kindly for answering these questions. Have you anything to add or say?
Zombie: YEAHITHINKIMAYYTAKEABITEOUTYOURFATARSE
Excuse me? No don’t no NO NOOOO NOOOOOO!
Witty words 