We are expected

we are expected
to listen well
we are expected
to always tell
we are expected
to be good
we are expected
to eat our food
we are expected
to behave
we are expected
to be brave
we are expected
to be smart
we are expected
not to fart
we are expected
to be fine
we are expected
to stay in line
we are expected
to be kind
we are expected
to be refined
we are expected
to always care
we are expected
to be there
we are expected
to be on time
but I may show up a little later
as I am in need
of committing a crime

Witty word: Sweatheart

Definition for sweatheart
/ swet-hahrt /

Noun
1 either of a pair of lovers in relation to the other whereby one or both smell(s) of BO.

2 an affectionate or familiar term of address when hinting someone needs a shower:
“Hello sweathard, I can tell you’ve been to the gym”.

Informal.
a smelly friendly person.

Origin of sweatheart:
2021; poetpas; Modern English, based on late Middle English

Bipolar

M2 gay bears
were dancing on ice,
playing a game,
rolling the dice

The ice began to melt
as the heat was on;
all the love they had felt
had sunk and was gone…

A Nonymous

A Nonymous
was a shy young man
who came up
with a perfect plan

bought a cabin
in the boonies
to keep away
from all the looneys

glued his postbox
shut the blinds
build a fence
and planted mines

he removed himself
from internet
and stayed at home
all day in bed

turned his phone off
night and day
and put a sign up:
“Stay Away!!”

Interview with a zombie

Hi zombie, what is your name?
Zombie: BWAAINEATAHHH

What’s your favorite meal?
Zombie: RAWHFLESJJJJHHH

When did you decide to become a zombie?
Zombie: AFTAHIDIEDHHH

Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Zombie: ITRIEDBHUDDITCRACKEDDD

Do you feel you need some plastic surgery?
Zombie: DUWILUKETHADBADD????

Were you born with a lisp?
Zombie: NOIGOTSHOTINDAMOUTHHFFF

Well thank you kindly for answering these questions. Have you anything to add or say?
Zombie: YEAHITHINKIMAYYTAKEABITEOUTYOURFATARSE

Excuse me? No don’t no NO NOOOO NOOOOOO!